Sweet Dieuphina

Sometimes being at Real Hope for Haiti is really hard. Sometimes you get attached to children who are suffering beyond comprehension, and then you have your heart broken because they die. Sometimes you wonder why the Lord isn't intervening and you have to try to make sense of death and disease; try to wrap your mind around the sovereignty of God.

But sometimes... there are kids like Dieuphina (jey-fee-nuh). Fragile, underfed, wounded little souls who walk through the gates of Real Hope for Haiti and find healing. And these are the stories that fill my discouraged, downcast heart back up with hope.

I do think it's important for people to hear about all of the difficult stuff that goes on here. It has a way of changing us and helping us see life through a different lens. But the good stories are so important, too. They remind us of God's goodness and grace. And we all need those reminders every once in a while. 

Allow me to introduce you to Dieuphina...

The first time she came to RHFH she was fifteen months old and weighed ten pounds. She came to appointments on and off at the clinic for about a year and was finally admitted when she was 2 1/2. She weighed twelve pounds. After gaining six pounds, Dieuphina was sent back home to her family. 

In January of 2010, Dieuphina contracted Cholera. She got very sick and was treated at Real Hope's Cholera Facility. Then she was readmitted to the Rescue Center for two more months so that she could continue to recover and gain weight. She gained five pounds during this particular stay. 

At the end of August, just a few weeks after arriving in Haiti, I walked downstairs to find a precious 22 pound little girl in a pillowcase dress who looked to be about 6 or 7 years old. Her legs and feet were swollen from Kwashiorkor, and the tiny braids in her hair were an orangish color- a sure sign of malnutrition. Her movements resembled those of an elderly woman, and she wore a very sad expression on her face. 

My heart was so moved with compassion for this sweet girl that it almost physically hurt.  

I began to reach out to her, despite her obvious disinterest, and tried my very best to show her love through my actions and my embarrassingly broken Creole. This was the start of my friendship with Dieuphina.

It wasn't long before I found out that my new little friend was actually 10-years-old. I was also told that her mother died last year from Cholera and that she had been living with her dad, who was working hard to support his children, but struggling to put food on the table. Dieuphina told Licia when she arrived that she hadn't eaten meat since the last time she was at Real Hope for Haiti. 

At first, Dieuphina was extremely reserved. She gave little response, if any, when talked to. She was also very weak and only got out of bed to walk to the restroom. She wasn't a big fan of the Mamba (protein-rich peanut butter) that is normally given to kids with Kwash, but seemed to always have an appetite for vyann and pwason- meat and fish. Licia had one of the nannies buy food for Dieuphina practically every day.

After several weeks, she began to regain her strength. She started becoming more expressive and we quickly discovered that she has actually got some major spunk.

Dieuphina is truly a little ray of sunshine. Her joy is contagious and she has the cutest giggle in the entire universe. She is especially fond of juice and salty snacks, and just happens to share my love for pink nail polish. :)

She has just recently moved up from the ICU to the Rescue Center and now weighs a little under 40 pounds. By the grace of God, she's doing so, so great.

I would so love it if you would join me in praying for Dieuphina's continued recovery and for God's provision in her sweet life. 

"The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" -Psalm 126:3

Happy Thanksgiving!

The counting of all blessings is ultimately summed up in One. All gratitude is ultimately gratitude for Christ, all remembering a remembrance of Him. 

-Ann Voskamp

Renia

Renia was seriously one of the most precious little girls on the planet. 

She and her mom came to Real Hope for Haiti early in September because she had a mass the size of a grapefruit on her neck. Solange, Renia's mom, had searched high and low for a clinic that could help her baby, but because of a lack of resources she wasn't able to get the proper tests run or the right treatment for Renia. 

As soon as this sweet girl and her hero of a mom arrived in Cazale, Licia, Lori, and Jen (an amazing doctor from Heartline Ministries) immediately began scheduling appointments and making arrangements for Renia to be seen at a hospital in Port au Prince. Licia raised funds on the blog to cover her medical expenses and provided them with transportation into the city. 

To be completely honest, I was doubtful that Renia was even going to make it through surgery. I didn't expect her to live... But she did. 

She returned to RHFH several weeks later. And she looked AM.AZ.ING.  

I quickly became attached to this baby girl. She was incredibly affectionate and loved to touch my hair and snuggle. She wore a big, gorgeous smile and sort of purred when she laughed because of damage to her throat from the growth. Kristen and I became fast friends with she and her mom, and spent many afternoons hanging out with them downstairs.

For a month after her surgery we celebrated and laughed and played. 

And then the mass began to come back. 

For the first few days it was subtle. But then it started to grow aggressively and all of the sudden this miracle girl was right back where she was a month before. 

It was devastating to watch the mass grow. To know that it was likely going to end up taking Renia's life. 

And Solange, oh, it was so hard to see her confusion and disappointment as her daughter's neck began to swell again.

Eventually they went back to Port to start more tests in order to determine exactly what the growth was. 

And several days later, we found out it was cancer. 

The prognosis wasn't good.

Solange struggled with whether or not to bring Renia back to Real Hope to die. Nia-Nia was so loved here and could be made as comfortable as possible. But she clung to the hope that just maybe something could be done... and they continued to have tests run. 

Sometime yesterday evening, the angel finally went to be with Jesus. 

Late this afternoon about 20-30 women gathered in the clinic yard for a small memorial service for Renia. Her body lay in a tiny, pink casket just a few feet from her mourning mother. They sang hymns and prayed and a few ladies stood and said something about precious Renia. 

It was absolutely beautiful and heart-wrenching and holy. 

At the end of the service the casket-maker walked in the gate, picked up the small wooden box, and led the group of women out into the streets where they walked together down the road to the cemetery where Renia would be buried. 

Solange stayed seated, wrapped in the arms of one of Renia's caretakers, crying out to Jesus for her baby girl. 

I am so grateful for the peace that comes from knowing Renia has been made whole. She is no longer in pain and is in the presence of her Creator. But my heart is entirely heavy for her sweet momma. Solange is still here, and she is suffering an extraordinary loss.  

Would you please pray for Renia's family tonight? Pray for God's overwhelming peace to comfort them in the midst of their brokenness and for his glory to shine in the darkness of these coming days. 

Goodbye, little girl. You were so dearly loved.

*Photos by Allison Garrett

I Am Going With You

Has the Lord ever spoken to your heart? Has he muttered a word to your soul that you were desperate for? significantly moved by?

I hear him through the scriptures and through the people in my life all the time. Often, he uses music and creation to communicate with me.  

But then there are those rare, precious moments when he whispers something right to my heart. Something personal... just for me. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's big. 

.............................

Several days before I left to come to Haiti, I was in my bathroom getting ready for a night out with some friends. I was standing in front of the mirror curling my hair when Jesus spoke five incredibly simple, yet strikingly profound words to my heart. 

"I am going with you."

At the moment, his words seemed untimely.. almost insignificant. But they were CLEAR. And they stuck.

Well, let me just tell you, those five words have meant so much to me in the past three months. They have steadied me. They've been an anchor for my soul.

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My parents both flew down with me in August when I moved to Cazale. Because of my dad's back, and the horrendous roads between Port au Prince and Real Hope for Haiti, he had to stay in a guesthouse a few minutes from the airport while my mom came with me up the mountain. She helped me set up my classroom and my bedroom, and she spent the first night of this new adventure with me. 

Then, early the next morning, we woke up and we walked outside to load my mom's things in the truck so that she could make it back in time for their afternoon flight home. 

After a tearful goodbye she pulled out of the gate and I was left to begin this new year in Haiti completely alone. 

Except, I wasn't alone at all. He was with me. 

After RHFH's truck disappeared from the driveway, I walked back inside the guesthouse, shut my bedroom door, sat down on the bed, and grabbed my journal. Those five sweet words from the Lord echoed in my mind and I scribbled them down on the first lines of the page. 

In that moment I was sad, completely intimidated, and overwhelmed at the thought of living here for the next year of my life. But I knew... no matter how difficult the days or how lonely the nights, I didn't have to fear. He was with me.

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I have clung to those words every. day. since I've been living in Haiti. 

When I sat beside a sweet little girl in the last hours of her life, when I grew frustrated and tired, when I missed home, when I was throwing up in the middle of the night... I knew that he was there. 

Just the same, when I've celebrated children coming off of IV's and making it through another night; when I've laughed with the nannies and played games with the big kids downstairs... in the moments that I've been so full of joy I could explode, he's been there... rejoicing with me and sharing my smile. 

I have almost hit the half-way mark of the time I'll be spending at Real Hope for Haiti. Some days I am perfectly content and completely happy to be here, and others I am weary and looking forward to a break. 

Regardless of how my emotions vary from day to day, however, I am sure of one thing.

Jesus has set his seal upon me. He's taken up residence in my soul. He has specifically called me to this season in Haiti. And he isn't going anywhere.

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A couple of weeks after arriving in Cazale, I came across a song that has sort of become my anthem for this year. I thought I would share it with you guys. 

The lyrics say:

Because You're with me, 

because You're with me, 

because You're with me, 

I will not fear. 

My Hiding Place, 

my Safe Refuge, 

my Shelter, Lord, You are. 

My Friend and King, 

Anointed One, 

Most Holy.

I will exalt You. 

So wherever it is you are in your life tonight, and wherever you're headed... 

Take heart. He's going with you. 

To Die Is Gain

I never would have thought that I would ask God, beg him, to allow a child to die... 

But yesterday, I did. 

I came home from church in Port-au-Prince to find Chimene literally fighting to live. She was connected to an oxygen machine, her chest rising and falling with slow, shallow breaths. For several minutes I watched sweet Ketlie, Chimene's angel of a caretaker, gently push milk through her feeding tube. I silently prayed for God's mercy and his healing and his presence. 

Pretty soon, Chimene's small, weary body began seizing, and my heart crumbled. 

As I watched her, I was faced head on with all the ugliness of sin. I felt, maybe for the first time, the full weight of Adam & Eve's decision to disobey God in the garden... the weight of my own depravity. 

Because sin has separated us from our Creator and has made us objects of wrath. It brings forth everything evil and unrighteous and unjust. It's the reason that precious babies like Chimene suffer.

And in that moment, the consequence of sin was enough to make me nauseous.

But as I grew more and more disgusted with the reality of sin, my longing and love for Jesus simultaneously intensified. 

I began to realize the depth of mercy that He has shown us. I thought about his sacrifice, and the gift that he offers hopelessly sinful people, and the glory of heaven. I remembered Chimene's sweet smile from a few days before and pictured her in the presence of God Almighty, dancing before him and shining with the radiance of righteousness. 

And as all of these things flooded my mind and my heart, I began pleading with Jesus to take Chimene to be with him. I wanted her to be made whole. For her joy to be complete. 

I wanted him to let her die. 

Because in that moment, I knew that death would be her gain. 

When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory. "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"  -1 Corinthians 15:54-55 

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. -Philippians 1:21

Chimene finally went to heaven early this morning. And when Allison came upstairs to tell us during school that she had died, I felt nothing but complete peace. 

I knew Chimene had received a new, immortal body and had met my Jesus face to face. 

AND THERE IS NO GREATER VICTORY.

Meet Jean Edward

He came to RHFH for the second time early this year with a very swollen stomach and little hope of surviving. He had been living alone and fending for himself because his dad, who was not in his right mind, left him to go live in a field. Jean Edward was found terribly sick by a neighbor who graciously got in contact with his mother to let her know the situation. Several days later, she came for Jean Edward. After being with his mom for a while, and growing increasingly worse, he finally convinced her to take him to get some help. 


The first time Jean Edward came to Real Hope, he got better and was sent home a healthy boy weighing 38 pounds. This time, four years later, Jean Edward arrived at the clinic weighing 39 pounds and so ill and discouraged that he told Licia to make a casket for him because he was sure he was going to die. He had many hard days, and it took a while for Real Hope to figure out what was wrong with him. As a last resort they decided to treat him for TB, and his body began to heal.

Seven months later, Jean Edward looks drastically different from the child who was brought to the clinic yard in February. The swelling in his stomach has gone down, and he has reached a much healthier weight for an 11-year-old boy. He possesses this contagious joy that can turn anyone's bad day right around, and he has the sweetest, most grateful heart. You can find Jean Edward downstairs running around with the other big kids, or loving on the babies in the ICU; always wearing pink and white tennis shoes and the biggest, brightest smile you've ever seen. 

This little boy is a shining example of the remarkable difference Real Hope for Haiti is making in this community. And his life gives testimony to the power, love, and mercy of Jesus.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

To be a part of the healing for other precious kids like Jean Edward, go here and give.

Wake Up

There is a very real tension that comes with having my life wedged between two worlds that are so drastically different. 

One moment I am experiencing the hard realities of life in the third world, and the next moment I am being bombarded with the often trivial nature of the first world via our beloved world wide web. 

This morning, I went on a 2 hour hike up one of the mountains overlooking Real Hope for Haiti. On the way up, I passed children swimming in water that may or may not be contaminated with Cholera. I walked by "houses" made of a few tarps and other scraps held together by rope and sticks. I saw emaciated animals, and people walking to church in their very nicest clothes, and children running barefoot. I passed the Cholera clinic, which houses men, women, and children whose bodies are violently trying to rid themselves of a ruthless, water-borne bacteria. 

And then I came back down to the clinic and received news that Lucianna, one of the little girls who has been with us for the past several days, had just died. She had Kwashiorkor, a really intense form of malnutrition as a result of a lack of protein in her diet. Her little body just couldn't handle the battle going on inside of her.

Soon after, I walked upstairs and got on the computer where I saw acquaintances and friends, many of whom profess to follow Jesus, making really disappointing comments concerning football. And I couldn't help but think that we're getting it all wrong. 

Let me just say, I love football. Most everything about it, really. Just walking into a stadium, I'm filled from head to toe with this excited energy that I get very few other places. I love the sights, the smells, and the sounds. I love that people all wear the same colors and put tattoos on their faces and wave pom-poms and go crazy for their team. I love that it's all about working as a team and exhibiting both mental and physical strength. I totally understand and share in the hype that surrounds the game.

What I do not get, however, is how it can so easily become the center of a person's universe. How it can turn a normally mild-mannered and friendly person into someone who spews hateful and degrading remarks to the people around them. I simply can't understand how a game such as football can be the cause of so much dissension and arguing... especially among believers.

I've had moments where I allowed the competitive nature of sports get the best of me. I think we all have. But can I just offer this gentle reminder today? Football is a trivial battle... and so many of us are putting all of our energy and emotions into this game that has absolutely zero eternal significance. 

Meanwhile, multitudes of people are literally dying because of hunger and preventable disease. Even more, all too many of them are dying without the Gospel; with no hope for eternity. Read: significant battle.

I realize that not everyone is living in a third-world country or is surrounded by people who have never heard the Gospel. But the bottom line is, our words and our actions reflect our hearts.

And how will the world ever believe that Jesus is what matters to us if we are only passionate about trivial things that really don't matter at all?

In David Platt's book, RADICAL, he said something that really challenged me:

"Wake up. Wake up and realize that there are infinitely more important things in your life than football and a 401(k). Wake up and realize there are real battles to be fought, so different from the superficial, meaningless "battles" you focus on. Wake up to the countless multitudes who are currently designed for a Christless eternity."

So enjoy football season. Have fun yelling and cheering and celebrating. But, please, don't let it mold you into someone who makes thoughtless remarks and puts forth an image that is anything but Christ-like. Don't allow the game to become central to you. Because Jesus is central... and I believe that he wants us to be passionate about things that reflect his heart. Things like justice, and freedom, and forgiveness, and redemption. 

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth." Colossians 3:2

"Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome..." 2 Timothy 2:23-34

Real Hope for Haiti

waking up every morning to the sound of roosters crowing

teaching the four most precious, pure-hearted kids on the planet

trying my hardest to speak creole

gazing at the stunning view of the mountains from my front porch

laughing with the icu nannies

being challenged by the way they selflessly serve every single child

constantly sweating through my clothes

rejoicing over the victory of a child finally having his feeding tube removed

loving on beautiful, sick babies

giving secret hand-shakes to sain vique

listening to christmas music during school even though it's the middle of august

dancing and singing with the big kids downstairs

having all kinds of exotic creatures living in my house with me

applying insane amounts of gold-bond powder

hearing paul's precious laugh, and seeing him communicate through facial expressions rather than words

showering with cold water

taking a million pictures

hearing rain drops on the tin roof outside my window

hand-washing my clothes

snuggling biggens before bed, and watching him cry in protest to me leaving him for the night

listening to amazing women sing and pray over kids in the icu

checking for rats before i walk in my kitchen

embracing messy hair

hanging the kids' schoolwork on the "wall of fame"

being taught by those i teach

nodding in agreement as my students pray the sweetest prayers before we start school

being completely humbled by the strength of the haitian people

learning and growing every minute

depending fully on jesus

experiencing joy more abundantly than ever

...these are the God-ordained, grace-filled moments that I am treasuring in Cazale. I constantly find myself whispering words of thanksgiving to Jesus for the way he has poured out his extravagant love on my life. The fact that I am able to walk in his plan for me and genuinely adore every minute of the journey is totally overwhelming.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures evermore." Psalm 16:11

Disciple-Making

Men, women, teenagers & children... they sit in a circle and study the Bible together. They ask questions and ponder how the words they are reading will impact them. 

Because God's Word, it is alive. And it has creative power to transform hearts. 

Some of them know Jesus already and they gain greater understanding as they dive deep into the Scriptures. Others are seeking Him for the very first time, discovering the wonder of who He is and the weight of what it means to truly follow Him.

We teach them new stories, encourage them, and challenge them to respond in obedience to the Word. 

When we visit our Thursday afternoon group, we gather on a covered concrete porch. Tap-Taps and motorcycles fly by just on the other side of the trees and I can hear horns honking, people talking, and roosters crowing. But then Bernard picks up his guitar and begins to strum. Everyone starts to sing, and all the noise is drowned out by sweet voices offering thanksgiving and praise to God. 

Karinda tells stories from the Bible and they soak the words right in. We then discuss six questions, unpacking the meaning of whatever passage she shared. Everyone reads the story through once in their Creole Bibles, and then they practice telling what they've learned to the person sitting next to them, pretending that they are actually sharing the gospel with a friend.

A few of them recount the story to the entire group and, when they are finished, everyone applauds their success in communicating it accurately. We share our burdens and our needs, and then pray aloud in unison, interceding on one another's behalf.

It's a beautiful picture of discipleship.

Our meetings with the men in the Voodoo temple look entirely different from those where we train believers to share the Gospel. 

Karinda and I, along with our translator, walk into the temple and immediately they begin to scramble to find chairs for us to sit in. The Voodoo priest, Jean Robert, leaves for a few minutes to go let everyone know that we have arrived. Slowly but surely, familiar faces that we have grown very fond of trickle in. They carry the Bibles that we have given them. The pages are tattered... they've been used. 

We sit in a circle with Philip, Harold, Jean Robert, Smith, Jean Peter, Jean Claude, and others. Above our heads there hangs a freshly slaughtered animal. The stench of this sacrifice fills the temple. Incense burns to our left, and obscene paintings cover the walls around us. Even so, the thickness of God's presence is so tangible. He is with us, pouring out mercy, giving wisdom, bringing conviction. 

The men express their deep appreciation for us taking the time to tell them about Jesus. Each one of them cracks open his Creole New Testament Bible, and they begin to ask question after question. 

"I have two wives. If I decide to follow Jesus, what am I to do about them?"

"I've been reading in Matthew. Chapter 6 verse 24 says you cannot serve two masters. Will you explain this to me?"

"What does the Bible say about marriage?"

Day in and day out we literally sit for hours, talking and reading, praying and explaining. The Holy Spirit lays scriptures on our hearts to share with them. We encourage, challenge, clarify, offer explanations... 

And then Karinda and I go home, and we pray. We beg God to move in the hearts of these men. We ask him to reveal himself to them in power. We sow in tears, hoping to reap in shouts of joy. (Ps 126:5) 

It's incredible the way that He responds. He gives a dream to one of the men and presses on the hearts of many of the others. His Word accomplishes its purpose... and we watch in awe as the Spirit moves.

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There are several other groups. So many more faces and names and stories... so many lives changed by Jesus. I really believe that God is doing a huge work among the people in the DuFort region of Leogane. I believe he is going to use a number of the believers we met with to shine a glorious light into an area that is so dark. I believe that many more will be saved, and I pray that they will be discipled in their relationship with Jesus and trained to share the Gospel with others. 

Please join me in praying for all the people we encountered on this trip. For those we discipled, as well as those we shared the Gospel with. Pray for God to grow them into mature believers who walk with Him and follow Him.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:18

Home Sweet Haiti

Horns honk. Kids run barefoot. Sweat drips down and joy wells up. Goat's for dinner. Shower is cold...

I'm finally back in Haiti!

Words are inadequate to express just how happy I am to be here. Jesus has truly given me a profound love for this place and these people, and I am soaking up every second. 

So far, I have eaten at my first Haitian restaurant, visited the orphanage, and re-connected with some of my favorite people in the world. The Lord has been so gracious in allowing us to easily find many of the locals that I met in March, and we have already scheduled several meetings in the next few days to kick off S-T4T.

Along with entering back into these people's lives, comes a renewed heaviness and longing for more of Jesus. More of Him in me, and more of Him permeating every part of Haiti. So many people here are deceived concerning what it really means to follow Jesus. We're running into a lot of hang-ups on superficial things, like one's inability to dress nicely enough to attend church. The enemy has found plenty of ways to confuse and twist the Truth. BUT, Light is unquestionably shining in the darkness. It is so evident that God is moving. He is drawing His people back to Himself, and many are responding. It's a tremendous privilege to join in the work that the Lord is already doing here. 

In the coming days, Karinda and I will be trying out S-T4T and casting the vision that we have been thinking about and praying over for weeks. With the Holy Spirit as our guide, we'll form groups, teach the Bible, and tweak our strategy in order to hopefully help foster ever-growing relationships with Jesus. 

I am so expectant of what God is going to do during my time here. I know that whatever the days end up looking like, I will be changed and He will be glorified.

"Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored..." 2 Thessalonians 3:1